Research has shown that the quality of listening for information is related to our intelligence, motivation, and listening habits. We probably cannot improve interpersonal listening by becoming smarter, but we can make significant improvements in motivation and listening habits.
(1) Clarify the purpose for listening. Nothing hurts motivation for listening more than the belief that the information given by the other person is unhelpful or irrelevant. We may need to let the person know what our purpose is: "Could you explain ¼ to me?" "I want you to tell me how to ¼ correctly." "I’d like you to describe what happened." If the other person initiates the information, then ask about his or her purpose: "What is your purpose in telling me this?"
(2) Maintain active involvement in the interaction. When we feel involved, the process of interacting with others is enjoyable. When we feel uninvolved, the danger of daydreaming and pseudo-listening increases. Involved listening requires giving feedback. Feedback can improve the quality of information which the other person provides. Nonverbal cues and backchannel comments ("yes," "uh-huh") shows interest, paraphrasing material clarifies understanding, and asking questions brings out further information. Often it is important for us to make comments about the information and to reveal relevant information of our own.
(3) Keep the purpose for listening in mind The purpose will help focus our attention on what is important. It will also help monitor the direction of the discussion. We can then steer the discussion back on tract and in productive directions: "A few minutes ago you were saying ¼ ; I’d like to know a little more about that."
The guidelines above will help maintain motivation for listening and quality of interacting. Motivation itself is a major factor in concentration, and will help listen effectively even under adverse conditions. However, more steps may be taken to increase concentration:
(4) Make the environment conducive for listening. The optimal environment feels pleasant, allows us to sit as close as is comfortable to the other person, features few distractions, and places us out of hearing of others who are not part of the interaction. If the selected environment is too distracting, change position, remove the distraction, or suggest a different environment.
(5) Look at the other person. An important part of the other person’s message is sent through nonverbal communication. Looking at the person helps receive the entire meaning. In addition, it avoids potential outside distractions and signals interest to the other person, as discussed above.
(6) Recognize your own concerns and feelings. Outside concerns which we bring to the discussion may compete for our attention. Feelings aroused by the other person may threaten to distort the message. Concerns and feelings will not go away by attempting to ignore them. If the situation is informal and we know the other person well enough, discussing our concerns and feelings is an effective way of managing them. However, just silently recognizing and accepting that they are there is a helpful step toward to listening through them.
(7) Make sure to understand the other person’s point before evaluating it. Critically analyzing ideas and information is important, but not while the person is speaking. Arguing in our minds or preparing responses while the speaker is talking are habits which interfere with our concentration on the message. A critical response will form as we begin our turn to speak.
The preceding suggestions are aimed primarily at improving concentration on the message sent by the other person. Effective informational listening also calls for internal processing to increase the usefulness and retention of the information being received.
(8) Relate new information to past knowledge and experience. That does not mean distorting new information to fit prior expectations; in fact, it may mean contrasting it with what we already know. The point is that information is not useful or memorable in a vacuum; we must tie it to things we already know. When the details are descriptive, visualizing them also helps remember them.
(9) Organize the information in a way that makes sense. People often talk in a stream of consciousness. The apparent connections between pieces of information may be understandable at the time, but these connections quickly evaporate from our memories. If the information is reorganized in relation to a familiar pattern, such as time, space, or a learned system of concepts, it will be more useful and memorable and help guide our questions and feedback.
(10) Select key words or phrases which pull details together. It’s usually a mistake to try to remember everything that another person says. Short term memory does not hold much; new details tend to push out the ones which came just before. We remember more immediately afterward if we recall key phrases. Trying to keep everything in mind leads to frustration and the possibly of giving up listening.
(11) Rehearse silently or jot down key phrases while the person is speaking. In many interpersonal situations, taking notes would appear rude or suspicious. In those situations, silent rehearsal and verbal paraphrase are the best ways to retain the information until you have a chance to write it down. However, even when note taking is acceptable, such as in a formal interview, extensive notes hurt concentration and rapport with the other person.
(12) Write out notes as soon after the discussion as possible. No matter how vivid the key phrases are, the associated detail will begin immediately to fade from memory. If the details are important to remember, they must be written down for future reference and study.
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Copyright 1999, Richard D. Rowley.
Last revised: August 11, 2001
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